Monday, March 8, 2010

My ass is popular...

Today I had a bone marrow biopsy and aspiration performed. I had heard that these could be kind of painful so I was a bit apprehensive. Turned out to be a piece of cake with some pretty humorous moments. I  get setup in an exam room, IV put in for some Demerol to mellow me out, vital signs checked and then I get to lay on my stomach. Pants come down around my ass, shirt is hiked up, and there I am, lying on my stomach with my ass hanging out. Nurses coming in and out, getting prepped for the procedure.

So the conversations started going like this:
  • "So, how does my ass look like back there?"
  • "Have you seen this nice an ass before?"
  • "Hi, my name is George. This is my ass."
  • "Usually, it takes at least two drinks and a slow dance before I'll let someone look at my ass like this."
Luckily the nurses and doctors were pretty tolerant of my off-color humor. After lying there for about 20 minutes we finally got the show on the road. The initial insertion of the lidocaine hurt a bit but after that the whole procedure was totally painless. Some mild pressure on my lower back as they dug into my pelvis but nothing very uncomfortable. Susan was in the room for the entire procedure and she said that the doctor did indeed take a hand drill to my ass to drill into my pelvis and take some bone marrow. Sounds pretty gross! So I guess for that particular piece of it, being on my stomach and not being able to watch was probably a good thing.

Mid next week we'll get the results back. Hopefully this will show lots of healthy marrow and no problems. Thinking good thoughts about that!

Tomorrow is the chat with the surgeon about getting the single lumen port installed. I'm a bit worried that having the port in may limit the amount of mtn biking I'll be able to do, for fear of crashing and screwing up the port. That will definitely be on the list of questions for tomorrow.


  1. So you offered up all of those "one liners" and nobody said "roll over?"

  2. well, Susan was in the room to protect my virtue so we managed to keep the whole interaction at the pg-13 level :)