Thursday, March 25, 2010


Today was the first day that I've felt kind of "blech". All this week I've been feeling really good but today I was definitely off a bit. Being the analytical geek that I am, I've decided to rank my days on a scale of 1-100.

100 = I just had the best mountain bike ride of my life and cleaned the front side of Hall Ranch (which I've never done)

0 = Dear God, just shoot me now to get me out of this misery

So today was about an 82. I'd say the last few days where in the 90s so this was a bit of a slip. I've heard that day 3 or 4 post chemo administration is usually the low point in the cycle so I wasn't completely surprised to feel a bit off today. By the end of the work day I was definitely feeling a bit whipped. But I thought a little movement in the pool might re-energize me (I got cleared to swim today) so I got over to the pool and got in the water. It definitely helped! My chest still feels a bit funky with my new friend Pete along for the ride but the whole experience of moving through the water and getting my metabolism elevated definitely made me feel better.

Other news - my left arm seems to be slightly swollen, down towards my arm. One of the few serious complications of having a port put in is that you can get a blood clot in the vein they use for the port so I had an ultrasound of my arm done yesterday. Everything looked normal and the surgeon looked at it today and also thought it was OK. Apparently they had to push and pull a bit in my chest to get the port into place correctly so there may be some compression on the vein they used, either from them banging around in my chest or from the inflamed lymph nodes I have in that area. Both of these issues should resolve themselves over the next couple of weeks.

I also got a few games today to keep me occupied if I'm not feeling like exercising. A friend of ours gave me a giant puzzle that's sure to keep me busy for weeks (if not months!) and I also purchased a high end flight simulator for gaming on my home PC. Both will be good distractions although I hope that with spring showing up that I'll be spending a lot of time outside on my bikes and running.

Finally, I got a good pointer from a friend of mine to a blog post about someone recovering from prostrate cancer. There were some good tips in there about pacing your recovery, letting others help you, etc. That last one is tough for me - I really value my sense of competency and being able to do things for myself. It was really, really hard to watch Susan shovel the driveway yesterday and not jump out to help. I guess there's a lesson in there somewhere for me.

I understand that this process will be a marathon and I'm looking to settle into a sustainable rhythm. I've done a lot of endurance sports in my life so hopefully the mentality necessary for those activities (patience, stubbornness, the ability to pace myself) will help with this journey.


  1. You will perhaps be comforted to know that every time I start feeling particularly crabby about my broken ankle, I think about how minor it is compared to your journey and remember to man up. See? You are doing good in the universe without even trying! But I definitely share your sense of frustration at not being able to do everything I want to do. Once a Type A, always a Type A . . .

  2. yeah, I've broken one of my ankles (twice). The 2nd time I was on crutches for 12 weeks. That sucked. During that period I:
    - backed over my crutches with my car
    - got to my destination in my car and realized I had left my crutches by the side of the car
    - got out and pushed my car out a snow drift (hopping on one leg, even though my mom was in the car and volunteered to help.) See the issue about me and accepting help?

    When you do these crazy, Alzheimer like things when you're 25 you just think you're nuts. When you do them in your 50s, you panic that you are getting dementia. Another gift of aging - you stop having confidence in your uniqueness.

    Speaking of doing crazy things, I've lost my bluetooth twice in the last two days. I've got this really nice Jawbone but it's so damned small that it's impossible to keep track of. Maybe I need to pin it to my shirt, a la what you do for little kids and mittens.