Like so many people who go through this experience, it has
made us re-evaluate what is important in our lives. I had been thinking about transitioning to a
new career for the past several years, but my dreams of quitting my job in IT
were thwarted by George’s diagnosis. Now
that things are looking up for him, it seemed like a good time for me look for
something new. I was worried about our
financial situation, but in reviewing our budget we realized that we had saved
up enough money for retirement, we had finished putting all four of our kids
through college, and George’s income was sufficient to support us until we both
officially retire. So, with George’s full support (actually,
George’s PUSH), I quite my management job at a software company to follow my dreams.
I have spent 30 years
in the IT business, being a programmer, systems analyst, project manager, and
finally a manager, and I am ready for something new. I originally went into IT because I wanted
to try a non-traditional field for women, and I wanted to make enough money to
support myself and my family. I also found that I had a knack for the type
of analytical, creative problem solving work that goes with programming (not
everybody does, as I found out in my first computer programming class). I
also found that I liked management when I got into it – but the part I really
liked was in helping empower others and leading teams. However, getting into management led me to
short-change my individual creativity, that fun-loving part of myself that
somehow got pushed into a box over all those years.
So, thanks to the support of my wonderful George, I have
quit my IT job and I am now unemployed and looking at my next ventures. For starters, I will be working to support
the cancer survivor community through LIVESTRONG. George and I are both active with the
Colorado Cycling Team Benefiting LIVESTRONG.
To find out more about this group, you can go to www.coloradocyclingteam.org. The other thing I’m planning to do is to
work on my writing. I have always
written through all the years – journals, poetry, short stories, technical
writing, and (I hesitate to admit), a half-finished novel. I
never had time to do as much as I wanted to because of all the time I spent at my
job (plus all of my athletic, musical, and social activities, of course!)
I have had several conversations with my son Ross and his fiancée
Maruja about the creative life. Both of
them are pursuing music careers in the Netherlands, and it is a grueling,
demanding job. The question is, how do
you nurture the creative side, which requires imagination and a sense of play,
with all the technical skill and sheer hard work that is needed to get your
work out there in the public eye? Maruja sent me a book to help get things
going, called The Fire Starter Sessions by
Danielle Laporte. I have just started
it, but it looks like a great guidebook to find your inner fire and creativity.
French sociologist Emile Durkheim coined the term “deformation
professionelle” to describe a person’s transformation due to their
profession. This could be mental or
physical, and can go so far as to affect a person’s entire world view. Think about our stereotypes of accountants,
lawyers, professional athletes, rock stars, etc. This phrase has even been used in a negative
way to describe what happened to average bureaucrats in Nazi Germany to account
for their war crimes. This is how I felt
in the corporate world. Now, if you know
any IT people in Boulder county, you will say that the “deformation” is not
that onerous – most IT people dress in a pretty relaxed fashion, say what they think, and even bring their dogs
to work. However, just being in the
corporate world, and especially being in management, requires that you “walk
the talk” to use a management-101 phrase that actually makes me physically ill.
For example, I could not wear loose, flowing, sparkly dresses and be taken
seriously. Without going into too much detail, I feel
now that I was like one of those stretchable dolls that was pushed into a spherical
plastic container, and now the container has been removed and I’m gradually
expanding back out into my natural shape, complete with legs, arms, head, and
all kinds of bumps. I’m sure this will take some time to figure
out where I end up, but I am SO THRILLED about beginning this new phase. As Mary Oliver wrote in her peom, “The
Journey”,
One day you finally knew
What you had to do, and began.
